oo2.) Trying To Fit A Square Into A Circle Was No Life

Hello, blogger, how pink and un-customized you are. I don't know that this site allows custom CSS... I will have to check that out.

I guess I'm trying my hand at blogger because it fits into one of the two worlds I am trying so desperately to integrate, and perhaps cross-posting/starting something new will help. Or perhaps it will only separate the worlds further, only time will tell. In any case, this is just so typical. Me, with my foot in the door, not quite on one side and not quite on the other. Belonging everywhere but not really belonging anywhere at all. Too many people wanting things I can not give them. Not for lack of trying. Marc says he wants me to see what he sees in me; what, apparently, everyone else sees in me. But I don't. Sometimes, on a day when things are going well, I can see the outline, the faint image of who I WISH I were, and that makes me laugh. According to everyone else, I am exactly the person I want to be. I should be able to see that in myself as well. I do not think I am someone every guy will fall in love with. I do not think I am someone to be envied for looks or creativity or ideas. Sure I think I am above average in such categories, not to sound big on myself, and I definitely get high marks in charisma and perception. It just seems that I hear so often all these amazing things about me, about who I want to be someday, and the prospect of being that NOW, of being what people think I am, is just unfathomable.

All I am, is a girl with child-like curiosity and big dreams clumsily trying to fit a square into a circle; trying to stitch together the two fabrics that keep me whole.