Wish I May (Starlight)
©ADVenture Records; 6/4/9; 3.11 am
Ten minutes past the wishing time, I missed it again
Would it have helped?
Would it have helped?
Fickle as I am I may have wished away the pain
It's all I've felt
It's all I've felt
And I've wished on stars and numbers
And I've wished on days and names
I've wished for quiet slumbers
But the Gods are playing games cause
I'm still crying
And I'm still trying
To clear the mess away
To just get through this day
I'm still sighing
And I'm still lying
To myself and to you
What have I put us through?
Baby, I wish I knew
Only three leaves on my clover, I've been searching through this field
Can't catch my breath
Can't catch my breath
Pulling petals off roses, the steam is all I have to wield
There's nothing left
There's nothing left
And I've wished on things and places
And I've wished on wells and air
I've wished that time erases
But the Gods don't seem to care cause
I'm still crying
And I'm still trying
To clear the mess away
To just get through this day
I'm still sighing
And I'm still lying
To myself and to you
What have I put us through?
Baby, I wish I knew
The first star I saw was too far away
I forgot the little rhyme I was supposed to say
Candles only come round once a year
Too long to wait, too hard to take and I fear
I'm still crying
And I'm still trying
To clear the mess away
To just get through this day
I'm still sighing
And I'm still lying
To myself and to you
What have I put us through?
Baby, I wish I knew
Oh, baby, I wish I knew
-----------------
This is the most emo/sad/slow song I have ever written. Been near eight months since I've written a song at all. Despite it's tone, I am quite pleased with this. I've vented and I feel empowered now. Upwards to the stars from here. <3
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
oo5.) Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.
This is very wrong.
Sticks and stones may break my skin, but words cut to my bones within.
That is entirely more accurate.
"My heart screams."
I know it was unintentional, but that will haunt me. I feel almost sick. I cannot disentangle myself from this, nor do I want to. My life is pretty as a car crash.
Slow down.
This is very wrong.
Sticks and stones may break my skin, but words cut to my bones within.
That is entirely more accurate.
"My heart screams."
I know it was unintentional, but that will haunt me. I feel almost sick. I cannot disentangle myself from this, nor do I want to. My life is pretty as a car crash.
Slow down.
oo4.) Did You Ever Truly Live?
World One: Happiness. So much happiness. Passion rules and my heart sings. I had a lot more to say. Now I don't wish to share it. It is mine.
World Two: Bittersweet. Seems to be becoming the usual. I am indebted to you, I owe you, and I can't fully fly until I get past this. I will always owe you. I just don't know how to pay up. Perhaps I never will. I will always try. I don't think it will ever be enough. There is only so much one person can do. There is only so much one person can feel.
Every time I reach the sky my cloud bottoms out. Maybe they weren't meant for walking on.
World Two: Bittersweet. Seems to be becoming the usual. I am indebted to you, I owe you, and I can't fully fly until I get past this. I will always owe you. I just don't know how to pay up. Perhaps I never will. I will always try. I don't think it will ever be enough. There is only so much one person can do. There is only so much one person can feel.
Every time I reach the sky my cloud bottoms out. Maybe they weren't meant for walking on.
Monday, June 1, 2009
oo3.) Balancing On One Wounded Wing
I absolutely love this meme.
RULES!
01. Put your music player on shuffle
02. The first lines of ten songs = a poem
03. The title of the eleventh song is the title.
Breakaway
Do you know I'm thanking you?
I'm at the grocery store and there you are just watching me
Baby go to bed and put out the light
All I want is one thing (to hear you breathing)
One kiss and heaven isn't far
Looking through a window above
You were so different from any other person that strolled into my life
I'm cracked from my head down to my spine
Sick of circling the same road
Wish on a rainbow is all I can do
RULES!
01. Put your music player on shuffle
02. The first lines of ten songs = a poem
03. The title of the eleventh song is the title.
Breakaway
Do you know I'm thanking you?
I'm at the grocery store and there you are just watching me
Baby go to bed and put out the light
All I want is one thing (to hear you breathing)
One kiss and heaven isn't far
Looking through a window above
You were so different from any other person that strolled into my life
I'm cracked from my head down to my spine
Sick of circling the same road
Wish on a rainbow is all I can do
River of Dreams
I'm coming, I'm coming home to you
Don't walk away like you always do
I've waited and given the chance I'd do it all the same
C'mon guys tell me what we're doing
Time is tight
I don't need your strength anymore cause you have made me strong
Don't be aroused by my confession
I'm out on my own again
There you go flashing fever from your eyes
So glad to see you have overcome them completely
I'm coming, I'm coming home to you
Don't walk away like you always do
I've waited and given the chance I'd do it all the same
C'mon guys tell me what we're doing
Time is tight
I don't need your strength anymore cause you have made me strong
Don't be aroused by my confession
I'm out on my own again
There you go flashing fever from your eyes
So glad to see you have overcome them completely
Lovely, lovely. I don't know what it is, those always turn out so wonderfully. I need to do some more of my OWN writing. I haven't in a long while. This is depressing me. I suppose I will go try my hand, on some good old fashioned lined paper. I'll post anything I can come up with. <3
oo2.) Trying To Fit A Square Into A Circle Was No Life
Hello, blogger, how pink and un-customized you are. I don't know that this site allows custom CSS... I will have to check that out.
I guess I'm trying my hand at blogger because it fits into one of the two worlds I am trying so desperately to integrate, and perhaps cross-posting/starting something new will help. Or perhaps it will only separate the worlds further, only time will tell. In any case, this is just so typical. Me, with my foot in the door, not quite on one side and not quite on the other. Belonging everywhere but not really belonging anywhere at all. Too many people wanting things I can not give them. Not for lack of trying. Marc says he wants me to see what he sees in me; what, apparently, everyone else sees in me. But I don't. Sometimes, on a day when things are going well, I can see the outline, the faint image of who I WISH I were, and that makes me laugh. According to everyone else, I am exactly the person I want to be. I should be able to see that in myself as well. I do not think I am someone every guy will fall in love with. I do not think I am someone to be envied for looks or creativity or ideas. Sure I think I am above average in such categories, not to sound big on myself, and I definitely get high marks in charisma and perception. It just seems that I hear so often all these amazing things about me, about who I want to be someday, and the prospect of being that NOW, of being what people think I am, is just unfathomable.
All I am, is a girl with child-like curiosity and big dreams clumsily trying to fit a square into a circle; trying to stitch together the two fabrics that keep me whole.
I guess I'm trying my hand at blogger because it fits into one of the two worlds I am trying so desperately to integrate, and perhaps cross-posting/starting something new will help. Or perhaps it will only separate the worlds further, only time will tell. In any case, this is just so typical. Me, with my foot in the door, not quite on one side and not quite on the other. Belonging everywhere but not really belonging anywhere at all. Too many people wanting things I can not give them. Not for lack of trying. Marc says he wants me to see what he sees in me; what, apparently, everyone else sees in me. But I don't. Sometimes, on a day when things are going well, I can see the outline, the faint image of who I WISH I were, and that makes me laugh. According to everyone else, I am exactly the person I want to be. I should be able to see that in myself as well. I do not think I am someone every guy will fall in love with. I do not think I am someone to be envied for looks or creativity or ideas. Sure I think I am above average in such categories, not to sound big on myself, and I definitely get high marks in charisma and perception. It just seems that I hear so often all these amazing things about me, about who I want to be someday, and the prospect of being that NOW, of being what people think I am, is just unfathomable.
All I am, is a girl with child-like curiosity and big dreams clumsily trying to fit a square into a circle; trying to stitch together the two fabrics that keep me whole.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
oo1.) Namesake
"Virgin State Of Mind"
K's Choice
There's a chair in my head on which I used to sit
Took a pencil and I wrote the following on it
Now there's a key where my wonderful mouth used to be
Dig it up, throw it at me
Dig it up, throw it at me
Where can I run to, where can I hide
Who will I turn to now I'm in a virgin state of mind
Got a knife to disengage the voids that I can't bear
To cut out words I've got written on my chair
Like do you think I'm sexy
Do you think I really care
Can I burn the mazes I grow
Can I, I don't think so
Can I burn the mazes I grow
Can I, I don't think so
Where can I run to, where can I hide
Who will I turn to now I'm in a virgin state of mind
Virgin state of mind
Virgin state of mind
Virgin state of mind
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